Nigerians, April Fooled by CBN and could Apple be kidding us? + Consonance @ 6
No be Juju be dis 🐱👤?
Hello dear Innovator,
This week, we have some news 🗞️, we learned from the grapevine- news that might not be public knowledge yet! Some call it “Gossip”, but we call it loyalty to our fan base. We believe you should be the first to know 🙄. You just have to hang on🤞 to this story like a lichen ⛰️till the very end 🔚.
Spoiler Alert❗❗
Some of this stuff is just Bat 🦇 Sh*t💩 Crazy 🤪. You don't want to miss it.
Last week, we delivered a hit piece 🧩 titled “The Great AI Debate” and it was giving 😊. It was everything and more. It contained some good or bad things you've heard about AI, but it was funny 😂 too. Be sure to check it out, while it’s still hot.
It’s the end of a quarter and the beginning of another and we love it!
Why do we love it your ask?
We love it because this first month of the first quarter is a significant time for Consonance. It's our founding month!
The last time we spoke, which was 4:00 PM with our mid-week prompt we shared the exciting news with you 😉 and more! Consonance is 6! 🎊🎉🎇. To celebrate 🥳 our new age this founding month, and also as a part of our rebrand efforts, we launched a new section called the “Innovator Of The Week” section.
Anything to promote innovation right? Exactly! we have a lot of exciting activities lined up for you as we celebrate ✨🎉Consonance @ 6 and you do not want to miss 😞 it. Make sure to mark your calendars 📆
It’s a new month and our party mood is already being activated.
Today, have a lot of information to unpack, the kind that keeps you glued to your sit 🪑, but not so fast… let's tickle 🤗 your ribs a bit.
It's Tech Twitter O'clock ⏰⌚
As is our culture 🧫, we love to serve you the latest in innovation, and we couldn't resist when we also saw the headlines you are about to see🤷
Apple 🍏 To Launch Its First Flying 🦅 Bot
No, this is not an Aeroplane! Neither is it a drone!
I know 😏 Apple has drones and “Yatty Yatty yat!” Let me hear 🙉 word, but it's nothing compared to this!
Just a few weeks after the iPhone 14 launch, ( which of course got Android users and Samsung loyalists offended, for never getting a chance to keep up and all their other arguments) the trailblazer is set to launch a robot that flies.
Trust me, this is as crazy as it sounds! Now robots would take the form of birds? I thought 🤔 they were only impersonating humans (to replace them at their jobs with AI bots some might argue)
I bin no know say, bird sef go collect 😂.
I know for a fact that I have seen robots that look like dogs or dog bots (if you will) at some point ☝️ some years ago.
This bird 🕊️ robots or bird bots news hit us in the face like real bird sh*t. Remember we told you, it's bat sh*t crazy 🤷.
Even iPhone customers are surprised 🙀 for a change. Yes, they are used to growth 📈, but nothing this crazy!
It gets even crazier!
Apple Bird Bots are to serve the purpose of spying on the camp of the enemy. The purpose is that it flies overhead and you don't know it's not a real Bird 🕊️. It also has a camouflage feature that makes it extremely hard to be identified as a bird bot.
Now ain't that something 😂?
Apple 🍏 is really something and everything, we might not be ready for.
CBN To Cancel New Naira NoteDesign
Do you remember the pandemonium (for lack of a better word) that the Baba blue-colored N1000 note caused online?
Well, it turns out that all the hassle and criticism from “expert designers” was all for nothing. Meffy (Elemiewele) the CBN governor was just messing with us all along! We saw this coming, to be honest, because the Baba Blue-coloured N1000 notes are too good of a joke to be true.
It seems he was just waiting for the perfect moment to jump out to scream “Gotcha!”
Why are we learning about this on the 1st of April? Are you thinking 🤔 what I'm thinking? Maybe he was setting it all up, just in time for April fool, so he gets to scream “Gotcha!”. From the look of things, his time planning couldn't have been more successful. He's probably rolling in laughter 🤣🤣 saying “Guess who's laughing now”
I mean common! We all knew it couldn't be real right? The graphic and UI/UX designers called it out First 🥇.
How do we know this? Shey you dey whyne me ni ?🎶🎶
According to a source preferring anonymity, a meeting was held between the executives of the board of something… (I forget what it's called 🙄) set to discuss “The State of Naira in the nation”
(Corporate organizations be doing the most with all these long names of subgroups within an already long-named organization, right?)
Our source tells us that in a brief moment of emotional outburst a female executive who is the Chief Expert something something tried to play hero 🦸in a plan she was very much a part of 🤣. She believed she was representing the people and that, she needed to adequately communicate the words on the street 🛣️.
Oops 😬 Big mistake! It did not end well at all 😶
Let's not even talk about how that ended for her because we'll rather not. Just know, that’s what you get for trying to play saint 🌬️when you are part of the group under question.
Anyhoo, you've heard of how the new Naira notes have failed to get in circulation (Probably because of what a joke they are). You've also heard of how the old notes are still to be in circulation till the 30th of December.
All these back and forth, and not being able to make up their minds or get things to work in this issue, has led to this moment 🧾.
NEWSFLASH!
The cashless economy struggle was all for nothing 🚫. However, Opay and Palmpay enjoyed the ride while it lasted didn't they 🤔? They had a good ride 🚴🚴♀️.
Boys also enjoyed asking chicks for their account numbers only to add a Zero in front of it, in other to enter the DMs
Smart move 🤓if you ask me. Ogbooon! Sodiqq!
At least we have the boom of Palmpay and Opay and hookups (decrease in singleness and increase in urgent 2k) by extension to thank Emefiele for, in all these.
And so, to the Governor of the Central Bank of Nigeria, we say “Thanks 🙏 No thanks!”
Disclaimer ⚠️
April Fool!
This is entirely a work of April Fool sprinkled with fiction. Any correlation with any, company, organization, country, or person living or dead is completely a joke to Fool 🤡 you as is the age-long April Fool practice!
This is our April Fool edition and it's been in the pipeline for a while. We are glad 😊 you loved it 😂. The above work is a subject of the Consonance writer's imagination💭
Chai, imagination wan kill her. If you vex, that means the joke is on you. No vex, no loose guard! Stay woke!😳
#AprilFool #Fiction
Innovator Of The Week
Israel Rex
Israel Rex popularly known as Rex is one of the innovation-drive geniuses behind Spacevent. His interests lie very heavily in web3, and is this very evident in his endeavors. He is the co-founder of Spacevents - a blockchain-based event management platform.
Spacevents can be explained in layman's terms as a solution for hosting events, built on Blockchain technology. Rex and his co-founder understand the rudiments of putting an event together on web3, and they make it so simple that even a ten year can put an event together. The goal is to successfully facilitate event participation and collaborations of professionals on web3.
Rex can be described as an incredibly productive member of society, to say the least. He is an innovator in every sense of the word, and it seems as though if something is not largely impactful by innovation standards, it's not good enough for Rex.
He is a member of the Consonance community, and we couldn't ignore the waves 🌊 his ventures are currently generating, therefore “The innovator Of The Week” recognition.
You can connect with Rex and what he does here.
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Thanks for always.
Notable Reads For The Week
The looming Tiktok ban. Will Tiktok be banned in the United States?
Someone said Big tech went from hiring to firing. Microsoft lays off 10,000 staff in Kenya.
Everyone is developing their own AI too and Adobe is not left out. Adobe launches its own AI tool.
Opportunities
Bumpa is hiring a Senior Backend Engineer and a Senior Mobile Development Engineer - Remote
Kuda is hiring in Lagos, Nigeria!
Andela is hiring an Engineering Matching Specialist to work remotely
Lemonade is hiring
Fido is hiring a Financial Analyst in Accra, Ghana.
ICF is hiring a Communications and Engagement Lead in Kitui County, Kenya